What do I do with all my free time?

1. Crochet or knit

No, I'm not 60. I'm a housewife, or a stay at home mom. I don't want to say that I took up crafting because I was bored. It's not as though I don't do things around my home on a day to day basis (see list below). I guess I just thought "housewife = yarn balls" so I started a few little projects. My latest is a baby blanket for my BFF Katie. She is having her first baby in November, so I started a blankie in July and am now barely finishing it. So much for a career on Etsy.

2. Talk on the phone with friends and/or family

I don't do this a lot. I mean, my kid isn't sitting in a dirty diaper playing with power cords while I'm chatting away on the phone. I usually get in a quick chat during her nap time, or while she's playing. Kids do need some time to play by themselves. Anyway, my phone conversations usually revolve around how much I hate San Antonio, the latest thing my husband did to piss me off, or something awesome that Kimmy (that's my little one) did. In fact, Katie just called a minute a go but I was paying bills. And while I love talking to Katie, I really have been putting the bills off for far too long.

3. Haggle with bill collectors and utility companies

Today it was the electric company. Seems we owe $142.00. It's San Antonio and it's hot so we have a high bill. Luckily, the electric company is still in the process of switching our account from our old address to our new address, so I have some time to put this one off. Let's see if the bank is so kind about our auto loans.

4. Triage bills

I really shouldn't put off my car payment much longer. But we're behind on so much other crap. Sigh. I drink coffee, I check my email, I fiddle with the calculator. I remember that I need to go to the grocery store for toilet paper. I think of maybe splitting up my car payment between this pay check and the next.

5. Do dishes

Uck, I'm sick of doing this. Surely I don't want to write about it, aside from saying, "I hate doing dishes!"

6. Clean, clean, and clean

My husband recently got on my ass about the cleanliness of our apartment. You know when you get a new car, and you tell everyone the RULES of the car? No eating in this car, no smoking, you wipe your feet when you get in, you don't leave anything in this car? That's how my husband is with this apartment. You'd think we moved on up to the East side or something. It's just another apartment. But woe unto those who may drop a sippy cup onto the floor! Gadzooks, a bit of water or even -- gasp!-- milk may fall upon the carpet! It's not like I don't clean up constantly throughout the day. I spot treat the carpet and vacuum about once a day. Oh, and the awesome new apartment that he just had to have? Well the common grassy areas are covered in dog shit and our neighbor just got arrested, a la COPS style, complete with the screaming, cussing, and slamming doors. I loved when she yelled, "I'm not struggling! Mom, this is your fucking fault!" over and over again.

7. Watch tv

I love how I'll watch a program (yeah, I said program, like I'm my mom) about a woman who weighed like 230 pounds and then she started going to the gym and now she's a bikini model. I get all encouraged and psyched up about my own weight loss goals. And then the next day I run out and try the new Big Carl Burger from Carl's Jr.

8. Go to the park

Since our apartment complex has no play area for kids, I have to take Kimmy to the park about every day so she can run off her ants in the pants. I'm not complaining, I usually like taking her to the park and watching her play. And sometimes I get to see a shining example of the typical San Antonian. Example? Sure. There was the guy there with his kid who was, oh probably about two years old. It was about 65 degrees out, overcast. Kinda cold, but not too bad. Everyone had on a hoodie or windbreaker. Not this kid. He was wearing a sweatshirt, a diaper, socks, and shoes. That's right, no pants of any kind. I felt so bad for that kid. Then there was the lady I saw yesterday. In San Antonio, it goes from being 65 degrees to 90 degrees over the course of 4 days and it was hot and humid. So I pull up to the playground yesterday and see a lady sitting in a lawn chair with her legs spread out, propped up on a cooler. She was wearing a strapless sundress, which thankfully covered her legs. She was wearing a neck brace and smoking a cigarette while yelling at her kids who were walking a 250 pound dog around. As awesome as this lady was (and goddammit, I wish I had the balls to whip out my phone and get a picture. I mean, it's not like she could have kicked my ass. She was in a neck brace) I was even more awesome today. I took Kimmy to a different park this morning. I have the bladder of a tit mouse so I had to pee at the park restroom. I was carrying Kimmy to the car and I tripped and fell. Luckily, Kimmy was not injured. My right elbow took the brunt of the impact, and to prove it, all the skin from that elbow is still at the park.